Let's bring back the no-nonsense kitchen

01 January 2000 by
Let's bring back the no-nonsense kitchen

ASA contract caterer, we are in the fortunate position of always being provided with a kitchen by our clients to produce the food on their behalf. I say fortunate, but my kitchen at home is twice the size of some new commercial kitchens.

I do wish that some architects would wake up and smell the coffee - and not suggest equipment because they think it looks sexy.

I am referring to the impracticalities we keep finding in remodelled restaurants. Kitchens look more like broom cupboards these days and restaurants seem to put the designer's ideals before customer practicalities.

Often, when securing a contract for a newly developed site, we are asked to liaise with the architects to finalise the design for the "customer experience".

At this point, we get all excited and start brainstorming for the project. Budgets are discussed; sample crockery and display equipment is organised for the client to see; colour co-ordination is considered; and the client's objective taken into account.

But then we have a meeting with the management development graduate, who is straight out of design college and wants to make her mark.

She - yes, they usually are female - arrives at the meeting with some sample plates from the Conran Shop and cutlery from David Mellor. Questions such as "What is the cost per cover?" are like a foreign language, and "Is it dishwasher-proof?" blows her mind. If you then start to get technical and ask if it is a 7oz stackable cup and saucer, she just gets annoyed.

Such a meeting is usually followed by a phone call from the architect, who accuses us of not appreciating the design and vision they are trying to create.

My reaction is similar to the one I have when I see "dry clean only" on a simple cotton blouse - is this really necessary? If the same vision can be created in a more practical and cost-effective way, then why not?

It usually ends up with us and the client having to join forces to ensure the budget isn't blown in one fell swoop - just on china.

Once this hurdle has been overcome, there's the servery counter. Yes, 100mm-thick glass tray slides do look beautiful - in the first week. But as the months pass, the glass gets scratched. What is left is a freak of designer vision at its very worst.

Additionally, we have recently come across a stunning restaurant servery with amazing curves and lines and a condiment point that can only be described as a white elephant.

Its design boasted spring-loaded napkin dispensers, which were sunk into the servery top so customers could help themselves. Problem? The size of napkin needed to fit the dispenser had been discontinued by the manufacturer and no other supplier could help. Solution? The napkins now have to sit on the top of the dispensers so that customers can help themselves.

Recently we have encountered, on more than one occasion, idiocy at its best: smoke detectors above a self-service toaster. While I would never suggest that our customers lacked the ability to watch a piece of toast, there is always one cremation a day. This ends up with a building evacuation and a lot of lost time and profit for the client.

At one contract, this farce continued into the kitchen and heat detectors were actually located above the cookers. These were quickly disabled but it left the 14-storey building without any safeguards for detecting a fire.

The short-term solution (which lasted one month) was to bring in a security guard to watch over the cooker for any signs of danger. The poor guard allocated to this duty spent his working day getting very hot and flustered. Retiring home at the end of his shift, he reeked of food smells - but no doubt he could impress his wife with cooking techniques and suggestions for supper.

Finally, there's the design of kitchen equipment. When you manage to squeeze into the production kitchen, you start to wonder whether you've gone into the finishing kitchen by mistake.

Caterpillar dishwashers have been replaced with under-the-counter ones and the catering manager's office replaced with lean-to shelves. I appreciate that space is money, but staff are getting tired of sharing a toilet cubicle to change in. Remember the days of staff rest rooms?

Maybe legislation will take the architects full circle and practical solutions will be found. Well, that's my vision. n

Robyn Jones is managing director of Charlton House Catering

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