Table talk

01 January 2000
Table talk

l The same old story

CONSIDER this opinion from JJ Hewlett of the Palace Hotel, Buxton, Derbyshire: "The British hotel industry is faced with the worst staff shortage ever and I view the future with dismay unless something drastic is done soon." An opinion, I suspect, that many others in hospitality would share, although they might be surprised to hear that Hewlett's view was reported in Caterer & Hotelkeeper in November 1948. Some things never change.

l No free room at the inn

A COUPLE enjoyed their night at the Old Vicarage hotel in Witherslack, Cumbria, so much that they asked the general manager if they could stay another night. Luckily for them, the manager told them, the room was free, so they extended their stay. All was well until the gentleman checked out the next day and was presented with a £236 bill for their two-night stay. "We were told the room for the second night was free," he exclaimed.

l Marco Pierre Polite

AN ACQUAINTANCE decided to treat herself and her husband to dinner at London's Mirabelle restaurant last week and telephoned to make a last-minute booking. The helpful gentleman who answered said they couldn't fit her in at 8pm, but they could manage 7.30pm. The woman said she'd have to check with her babysitter first and would call back to confirm the booking. When she asked for the gentleman's name, he replied: "Marco Pierre White, madam". Seems he always answers general enquiries when he's in the office. Whatever happened to the enfant terrible we knew and loved?

l Bad moodies at Doodies

RESTAURAteurS in Hereford are bristling at writer Bill Murphy and his new book, A Jaunt Round the Decaying Heart of England. It seems the author had a particularly bad time in the city, which he describes as a place full of inbred people and vegans. "Apart from one Thai restaurant and the Volunteer Inn, the remainder of placesto dine comprise a variety of places with tragic names," whines Murphy. Cherries, Nutters, Raffles, Slaters and Doodies all get a dishonourable mention. But Susan Mackerren, head chef at Doodies, was not amused. "We are a very popular restaurant, named after the owner, Ian Doodie," she sniffed.

l Late-night drinkers required

IT'S all very well marketing yourself as one of the most romantic hotels in the world, but it seems love doesn't pay the bills. At leastnot at the seductive honeymoon resort of Anse Chastanet on the West Indian isle ofSt Lucia, where after-dinner bar takings are not as they could be. "Everybody goes to bed really early," moans one insider.

l Night of fear with cardboard cut-out

A TALE with all the trappings of a plot from Ballykissangel reaches me from one of our Adopted Businesses, Clancy's of Cork. Chef Siobhan Kennedy opened the pub one morning to discover a fierce, armed intruder. Terrified, she rushed out and called the Gardai, who found the man still in the building. The intruder hadn't moved because he was, in fact, a life-size cardboard cut-out of a local hurling star - complete with cardboard hurling stick - left over from a long-forgotten sales promotion. Staff had left the figure in the bar after a stockroom clearout.

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