Table talk
For Xmas, he wants Action Man army cook
Could this be a moment in catering history to rank alongside 16-year-old William Hague's speech to the Conservative Party conference? Eight-year-old Tristan Dunn has become the youngest person in the country to have completed a Basic Food Hygiene course run by the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health. Said his father, catering consultant Simon Dunn: "Tristan has always been very inquisitive about food as he sees me preparing hazard analysis guidelines for my clients, so I suggested to him that he took the course… After the first week, he came home and rearranged the refrigerator."
You Tarzan, me too big for nappies
Monkey business has been going on down under in the Observatory hotel in Sydney. Pets are usually discouraged but, just recently it seems, rules are being broken. This was the case when a "child" called Bootsie was booked in with two "parents". Bootsie turned out to look very much like a fully grown chimpanzee, but complete with designer children's wear and stroller. Of course, it could have been a very hairy child, but no one attempted to challenge the parents.
Let's hope her bottom line remains firm
A high-risk presentation was delivered at last week's World Travel Market. Speaking for Bangkok-based group Dusit Hotels and Resorts, Chun Victor Sukseree, general manager of the Dusit Hotel Polo Club, left delegates a little flustered after likening the company to a woman nearing her thirties, about to enter the best years of her life, needing to shed a few pounds but sexier than ever. To carry the analogy one step further, Dusit promised that it would try not to screw clients next year, but if it did, it would be the best screw anyone had ever had. Let's hope Sukseree won't soon be needing HRT (hotelier replacement therapy).
Really getting back to your roots
An Essex pub landlord is making a killing working the graveyard shift. John Acton, owner of the Molly Malone's pub in Colchester, has opened a cemetery on 100 acres of land he owns. When he is not pulling pints, Acton is digging graves for bikers, Buddhists and businessmen who have relinquished the idea of a traditional gravestone in favour of a tree bearing a plaque. Acton is always willing to chat about funeral arrangements with customers in the pub - over a stiff drink.
We thought "no puffin" meant "don't smoke"
David Attenborough would feel at home among the reindeer, sharks and puffins at London's Birdcage restaurant. Or maybe seeing these beasts sliced up and glazed with one of chef Michael von Hruschka's sauces would prove a little too much for the old naturalist. But while these animals are not protected species, the staff, it seems, are. "I hide the puffins from the waitresses as they might start crying," said the chef.
And what about tigers as traffic wardens?
Devon hotelier Alan Hope, joint leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party, is to stand for election as mayor of London next May with the sole policy of cleaning up the River Thames by introducing alligators. "Wherever you see them there is clear water," he said. The owner of the Golden Lion hotel in Ashburton tells Table Talk that he is also standing in the Kensington and Chelsea by-election "against that Mr Portaloo".
