Table Talk

They shouldn't mess with ‘scarface' Ramsay
Gordon Ramsay gave as good as he got when his food - and complexion - came under fire from face-lifted Hollywood wives in the US version of Hell's Kitchen. "The amount of shit that got thrown at me was horrendous," he told the Daily Express. "One woman said, ‘Chef Ram-saay, your food sucks'. Then her friend called me Scarface. So I said to her and her bimbotic mates, ‘Thanks for the comments, but I didn't pay for my scars - you obviously did'." Miaow!

This'll sleigh you…reindeer sausages
The Clifton Sausage restaurant and bar in Bristol has a controversial addition to its Christmas menu - reindeer and cranberry sausages. Head chef Simon Quarrie says: "Reindeer tastes very much like venison but with a less gamey and rich flavour. This, coupled with cranberry, makes a delicious sausage and goes wonderfully with mash and gravy." Reindeer is a traditional dish in Scandinavia. Just don't let Santa know you're tucking into poor old Rudolph - you might not get what you asked him for.

Just in case you had any spare cash left…
Is this the earliest sighting of Valentine's Day ever? Hotel chain Best Western seems to have bypassed Christmas altogether - not a bad idea, you might think - and already sent out press releases promoting Valentine's Day. Four-poster beds, log fires and outdoor hot tubs for canoodling couples are available at its 315 UK hotels. You can even cover your loved one in a chocolate body wrap come 14 February.

Walking in a fake winter wonderland
The Petersham hotel in Richmond, Surrey, is confidently looking forward to a white Christmas this year. Throughout December, the hotel's diners will witness flurries of snow falling outside the window. After the second lunchtime flurry, Father Christmas will float past the windows and - in typical window cleaner style - wipe away the snowflakes that have collected. Floodlighting will illuminate the snow, adding a magical quality up to midnight on New Year's Eve.