Table Talk
Je t'aime, oh oui je t'aime
Gallic love god Jean-Christophe Novelli has been at it again (perhaps). Responding to a recent call from Caterer about the unfolding Winner-gate saga (you may remember the pair publicly trading profanities after Winner was ejected from Novelli's White Horse gastropub), the French chef left us a brief phone message apologising for missing the call. Alarmingly, in the background one could clearly hear a female moaning in what we can only guess was pleasure.
Couscous in school dinner shock What on earth is going on in West Sussex school kitchens? A recent report in the Guardian, which aimed to blow the lid on filthy school kitchens, stated: "In West Sussex something was seen jumping in the couscous." Odd enough, you may think, but the Guardian was forced to retract the story after it emerged that an agitated creepy-crawly wasn't the source of the movement. "West Sussex County Council has asked us to point out that the food was sent for analysis and the source of the apparent jumping was static electricity," it said. Phew, that's OK then. Seconds all round?
Organ donors wanted Do hospital caterers ever think about anything else other than matters medical? Judging by the recent Hospital Caterers Association conference, they don't. As proceedings wound up, punters were told that Radio 4 was in the building to gather some opinions - commonly known as a "vox pop" - for a forthcoming show on hospital food. Sadly, the conference chair couldn't get his mouth around the term and told delegates that Radio 4 was in the building to collect some "voice boxes".
Whose idea was the sandwich? Never one to miss a cute PR trick, Malmaison has managed to squeeze some mileage out of John Prescott's recent furtive fumblings. In homage to Prezza, the Malmaison Newcastle (the boutique chain's closest hotel to his Hull heartland) is laying on Prescott Saucy Sausage Sarnies at £2.75 a pop - chipolata not Gloucester Old Spot, according to Malmaison's spin doctor. Nice touch. "Secretaries buy one, get one free. Take-out only." Must be eaten quickly, standing up behind a door presumably.
