Taking a tripof learning

01 January 2000
Taking a tripof learning

I was a mere stripling, doing my apprenticeship behind the bar in an up-market establishment where I worked in the kitchens as a pot slave, in the dining room as whipping boy and behind the bar under the glare of the barman, who hated everyone, training to make cocktails.

One day, I returned a tad worse for wear from the local pub on my time off. There was a furious banging on my bedroom door: the barman, bandaged from shoulder to wrist (he had punched through a window in a fit of rage), told me I would have to do his shift. I tried to explain that I was in no fit state, but he gave me one of his special stares. I acquiesced.

The night was reasonably quiet until about half-past nine, when a chauffeur opened the door and ushered in the oldest woman I had ever seen. She was so frail as to be almost transparent and hobbled to a seat by the fire. The chauffeur came to the bar and asked me for a cocktail for the lady, a strange mix including egg white.

Having prepared the drink, I tottered over to her as soberly as I could, balancing the drink on a tray. Then I tripped.

The drink streamed down her legs and congealed to a sticky mass on the floor. I too, was on the floor and felt disinclined to rise for fear of what would happen. I heard the roar of the head waiter from somewhere up above.

Springing to my feet, I stammered apologies when the old lady stood up and faced my aggressor. "Young man", she said, "kindly do not shout. The barman was bringing my drink when the chauffeur accidentally knocked the tray. It cannot, therefore, be anyone's fault. He will mix me another and I will say no more about it."

I was very embarrassed, but the shock on the head waiter's face was worth all the ribbing I took afterwards. I can look back on the incident some 15 years later with a wry smile - and a promise not to get drunk on my day off. Honest.

If you can relive the worst moment of your catering career, share it with us. Send it to My Worst Moment, Caterer & Hotelkeeper, Quadrant House, The Quadrant, Sutton, Surrey SM2 5AS. Everyone who has an item published will receive the original cartoon drawn to accompany the article.

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