Table Talk

07 February 2005 by
Table Talk

Not mushroom for error over Nairn's great haggis escape Scottish chef Nick Nairn was caught out by zealous US customs officers on a trip to New York last week. Nairn was on his way to prepare a Burns supper for ScottishPower at the Metropolitan Club, but officials confiscated his Aberdeen Angus beef, Ayrshire hams and Scottish cream. Luckily a prized haggis destined for the 80 guests escaped incineration - because Nairn had cunningly carried it through in a carton labelled "mushrooms". Strict hygiene rules usually allow only tinned haggis into the USA.

Work that body - but kindly keep it to yourself
Travellers embarrassed at the prospect of parading excess flab in the gym will soon be able to work it off in the privacy of their rooms at Marriott hotels in the USA. The company is providing complimentary exercise equipment at hotels operated under its own name and those under its Renaissance brand.

Bound to please on Valentine's Day
Just in time for Valentine's Day, K West hotel in west London is selling a range of erotic "pussy galore" or "tickle my fancy" goody bags to amorous guests. The most expensive, at £60, includes a leopard-print blindfold, leopard-print wrist restraints, a rubber tickler, a French tickler, sin tin chocolates, pert peppermint nipples, and lust dust. The retailer, Paradiso Boudoir of Soho, is also selling its lingerie at the hotel.

Danger: fries deprivation can trigger road rage
A Pennsylvanian man allegedly tried to run over Burger King workers after they told him they'd run out of French fries. The 22-year-old made obscene hand gestures and repeatedly swore at staff. When he noticed they were taking down his licence number, he allegedly got in his truck and drove at them, nearly hitting one worker. The man was arrested a short distance from the restaurant, where he allegedly scuffled with police, and kicked out the back window of a police car.

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