A WORTHWHILE CAUSE

Well, they're married. After four months of planning and histrionics that would have done credit to the best Hollywood scriptwriter, our head waitress and ex-barman are spliced! Mind, they nearly weren't. The decree absolute was collected at the eleventh hour and the poor registrar came in for some flack from the bride-to-be for being a petty bureaucrat and not taking her word that the divorce had been granted…

In the initial planning stages in January it was to be a quiet, inauspicious family affair. The bride then realised that her family was vast (four sisters, one brother and four children, plus partners and children's children) and the one adjective that cannot be applied to any of her side is "quiet". So she decided to go the whole hog! We ended up serving a buffet to70-something and an evening do for, well we said 100, but I'm glad we didn't count.

As the bride and groom were "family" so to speak, the pressure was on. And to make matters even simpler, the entire staff had been invited to the wedding. Why is it that even the most sensible members of our staff lose all common sense when self interest is involved?

Of course, Mr and Mrs Baldon would cope with the weekend breakfast waitress (who has two speeds: slow and stop), the four teenage waitresses (whose total experience of our business is about 52 days), the new lady kitchen porter (unmarried mum of 17 who has never had a job) and the new weekend chambermaid.

I am delighted to report that, with a full hotel (not all wedding guests) and a big party the night before, we did more than cope, we were wonderful. It is the first wedding that we have ever done where all the staff did exactly as they were told, no-one used any initiative and only one person was in charge - me!

Despite the photographer taking one-and-three-quarter hours to photograph everything that moved; despite the best man, who appeared to have difficulties in enunciating Mum and, er, er, Dad; despite the bride taking 45 minutes to get down the restaurant and out to the taxi and one of said teenage waitresses vomiting all over my shoes; despite all that, we survived!

The little things connected with the business were very satisfying: some of our regular customers who turned up at the registry office to get a look at the bride; the gifts that were left behind the bar for her; and the money that was handed to us to get her "something appropriate" from our regular residents.

Sunday luncheon was hysterical as there was only one table who didn't know her and no-one was really interested in lunch. All they wanted to know was how the wedding had gone, what had she worn, what was the cake like: all the little details that seemed to have gone by in a whirl. Sometimes this business is so worthwhile. n