Table talk
l Now we're really talking pizza
A SPANISH fast food company reckons it could revolutionise the world pizza market with a combination of the latest technology and the cunning art of suggestion. Telepizza, one of the major pizza delivery companies in Spain, has international plans for its talking vending machines designed to lure passers-by into buying a pizza. When it detects that someone is close, it calls out: "Fancy a pizza?" And for £1.10 it will defrost and cook one in less than two minutes. Could this be the answer for restaurateurs worried about the cost ofthe minimum wage?
l Or you could just have another glass
FOLLOWING a hard afternoon's beer sampling, onlookers at this year's Beauty of Hops English Ale Awards were amused to hear the speech from Martin Jolly, chairman of the National Hop Association. "I've done enough banging on," he pronounced. "Now can I announce the windows."
l The ball's Inn someone else's Court
BRAND names are supposed to give their customers reassurance, so they know what to expect each time they buy a product. But if not used carefully, they can have the opposite effect and actually confuse consumers - as is arguably the case with the Holiday Inn Garden Court chain. This point was made to Ravi Saligram, president of Holiday Inn Brands International, at last month's International Hotel Investment Forum in Berlin. Unusually for a corporate businessman, instead of leaping to the chain's defence, Saligram admitted: "Just as the consumer is mystified, we too are mystified."
l Now we know how to use the word ‘gullible'
THIS month's award for trying too hard goes to the PR firm working for London restaurants Leith's and Leith's Soho. The eateries are serving gulls' eggs to adventurous diners and the PR blurb was promoting them as "Easter eggs with a difference" making an "elegant starter for Easter lunch." If they had taken the trouble to read a bit further down their own press release, they would have seen that the gulls' egg season doesn't start until mid-April. Seems they forgot Easter came early this year.
l No, she's not the newest of the Spice Girls
THE traditional way for a lady to increase the size of her bosom is, so we are told, to exercise sensibly while intoning the mantra: "I must, I must, expand my bust." But if all this seems a bit too much like hard work, why not try the latest hot tip from a Canadian herbalist and use curry instead? The manufacturer is using curry spices in a paste that is applied once a day for two months. A spokeswoman who has tried it claims to have grown from 36A to 36C.
l Just perfect for traffic planners and engineers
IT'S good to see that property agents haven't lost their touch. A press release from Christie & Co on the sale of the Lakeside Inn, south Wales, describes the hotel's outlook as "very unusual in that it overlooks the M4 motorway, with the Eglwys Nunydd Reservoir and the giant Port Talbot British Steel Works located at the rear". The new owners must be extremely thankful for the "distant sea views" beyond.
