Table talk
No chips or beans for you, then, my lad
Children have an uncanny ability to blurt out what most adults would think but never dare say. This was nicely demonstrated when a group of children was invited by the British Tomato Growers' Association to a vegetarian lunch at London's Butler's Wharf Chef School. Before the lunch, the children had admitted that they didn't actually like fruit or vegetables but, while most said it was because they thought they "tasted disgusting", one came up with the rather quaint excuse: "If I was meant to eat vegetables, I would have been born a rabbit."
What Stella means by "reassuringly expensive"
The constant upheaval of pub estates can certainly turn the stomachs of loyal locals who can find that their beloved watering hole has been transformed into some alien outpost. But enterprising locals in Gretton, near Winchcombe in Gloucestershire, have found a way of keeping things they way they like them. In a twist on the BYOB (Bring Your Own Bottle) concept, six regulars opted to Buy Your Own Bar instead - in this case, the Royal Oak Inn, for £575,000. But the interest of one of the buyers remains somewhat mysterious, as 83-year-old Stella Ashton (no, not Artois) is a teetotaller.
That's not smiling, it's holding its breath
The saga of the goldfish continues. Following our item last week about the Galley restaurant in Topsham, Devon, which displays fish in transparent toilet cisterns, owner Paul Da Costa-Greaves has called to say that the fish are not unduly troubled by all that flushing. "It's not unpleasant for them," he says. "There's a special mechanism with a slow fill and a slow empty. In fact, I contacted the RSPCA myself and they say the cisterns cause no disturbance to the fish. Anyway, they are very hardy, outdoor goldfish and they all have happy little smiles on their faces."
The burning issue of the day
Supermarket giant Asda has just launched a new super-hot curry which it boasts contains five whole chillies per portion. Apparently the curry, aptly named Find-A-Loo, has been going down very well with shoppers who, according to an Asda spokesman, need to have stomachs that are either "accustomed to curry, or lined with asbestos because it is so hot". One can't help wondering whether Asda's sales of toilet paper have rocketed recently.
A ram, a lamb, a ding-dong
a family living in Lambley Street, Bristol, had their lamb dinner disrupted by an unexpected ram-raider. A runaway sheep from the nearby Lamb Hill dashed through their open kitchen door, careered across the dining room and smashed through a window into the street. With all this synchronicity, it's just as well they weren't tucking into a meal of ostrich or buffalo.
Fins ain't wot they used ta be
Despite the wave of shark-phobia that swept the globe in the wake of Peter Benchley's novel Jaws, it appears that the toothy fish are more at risk from humans than vice versa. According to a recent survey, humanity is munching its way through some 60,000 Pacific sharks a year, killed to make shark's fin soup. Luckily for a few of the ocean's sharks, comments from airline passengers concerned over dwindling populations of the ocean's prime predators have prompted Thai Airways to remove the soup from its in-flight menus.
