Table talk
As Kermit said, it's not easy being green
Heinz has announced that, after 125 years of producing a red tomato sauce, it has decided to launch a lurid green variety in the USA. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that many children are put off from eating spinach and cabbage because of their colour, Heinz reckons that the green ketchup will appeal to more youngsters. Perhaps the cynics among us will see this as nothing more than another publicity stunt by a company which earlier this year alarmed the nation by claiming that it wanted to "abolish" salad cream.
After downing a few bottles of beer…
The Snakehead triad may be using eastern European countries as conduits for its lucrative and deadly trade in illegal Oriental immigrants, but British troops stationed in Kosovo have been exercised by a serpent of a different hue - namely, Cobra beer from India. On learning that 600 British soldiers have been on duty in the region for two-and-a-half months without any light alcoholic refreshment, Cobra's managing director, Karan Bilimoria, shipped them each a double-sized bottle of the Indian brew. Having been practically brought up in the Army, Bilimoria realised that alcohol is vital for oiling the wheels of the military.
… what else would you have but a big curry?
Talking about military operations, the troops at Whittington Barracks near Lichfield, Staffordshire, were enlisted at the weekend by balti baron Abdul Salam, owner of Lichfield's Eastern Eye restaurant, to create the world's biggest-ever curry. The three-tonne vegetable dish (half a tonne heavier than the previous world record) was cooked in a 700-gallon pot created by a narrowboat fitting company. It brings tears to the eyes just thinking about it.
Three little words that mean so much
Ian Burke, chief executive of Thistle Hotels, made the audience laugh when he took to the stage at the recent Joint Hospitality Industry Congress. Instead of the overhead projector displaying Burke's name and title, it showed the name of David Thomas, with the legend: "chief executive, Whitbread". On hearing the ripple of laughter which the mistake had prompted, he turned to the screen, read it, and simply said: "If only… "
What are the odds women will still have to queue?
Restaurant toilets are certainly not the private, calm refuges they used to be. If the possibility of having goldfish peering down at you from cisterns wasn't sufficiently disconcerting (Caterer, 13 July, page 23), now there's even more of a test of nerve. The newly opened Home Bar and Kitchen restaurant in Shoreditch, London, has introduced a unisex lavatory where all the loo doors are made of semi-opaque glass. According to the restaurant's cheerful blurb: "You either brave the toilets when you visit and be quick, or just cross your legs!"
Even a rocket won't get it there in 30 minutes
Was it all worth it? Pizza Hut plastered its logo across a Russian rocket last week as it was launched towards the new international space station. For just £660,000, Pizza Hut managed to get a picture and a mention in virtually every national newspaper in the world. Not bad - they obviously have the same PR company as Harry Potter.
