Table talk

Does my robot look big in this?

Simon Woodroffe, founder of the Yo! Sushi group of Japanese restaurants, has launched a book about his business entitled The Book of Yo!. In it he talks of the first time he saw a robot in action in one of his restaurants. It reads: "A few weeks before we opened I saw a robot drinks trolley go round a corner unaided and speaking too. ‘Move your fat arse, some of us have a job to do round here,' it said, and I thought to myself that at least people were going to come in and have a look. Only a robot could be rude to a customer and get away with it."

Wanted: romantic roommate

The stereotype of the macho male and the fluffy female is alive and kicking, according to a survey of guests' priorities by Glasgow's newest boutique hotel, Langs. It found that the average man looked for good value, speedy check-in facilities, signs to rooms and restaurants, sports facilities and a PlayStation in his bedroom. His better half, on the other hand, was more interested in a bit of massage or aromatherapy, a bath big enough for two, some romantic lighting and silky sheets. Sounds as though she might be ploughing a lonely furrow.

Anyone for bondage?

An undercover cop allegedly found the antics of New York's sadism and masochism restaurant, La Maison de Sade, to be in the worst possible taste when a waitress whipped off her pants and stuffed them in his mouth. The restaurant, which specialises in dominatrix shows and the humiliation of guests by whip-wielding staff, now faces the possible loss of its liquor licence over an indecent conduct charge. It is zip-lipped over the incident, but reportedly denies the charge on the grounds that the detective did not realise the waitress was, in fact, a man. Perhaps the detective should have taken heed of the restaurant's own warning: "If you have reservations, stay home".

Poor eyesight leads to group-sex embarrassment

James Thomas, of the Royal Harbour hotel in Ramsgate, Kent (upcoming Adopted Business, Caterer, 23 November), made an embarrassing faux pas when he visited his local video shop last week. He took out videos of the films Gladiator and what he thought was A Clockwork Orange. That evening he watched Gladiator but was too tired to watch the second film and went to bed. The next morning he was rather startled when he put the videos back in their boxes and realised that, instead of renting A Clockwork Orange, he'd mistakenly picked up a copy of the X-rated Clockwork Orgy. "It's funny how your eyes can play tricks on you sometimes," he said.

Sunday school is good for the spirits

Colin Mahon, landlord of the Wheatsheaf pub and restaurant in Kirkella, near Hull, came to the rescue when the church next door found it was having problems hosting a Sunday school. He offered the free use of the pub's conservatory for the weekly lessons. Now each Sunday morning the children, aged between three and 10, walk from the neighbouring St Andrew's church to the pub for their Bible classes. Rector Jonathan Juckes told the Yorkshire Post: "When I announce in the middle of the service that the children are going to the pub, some of the dads ask if they can come too."