Table talk
Swine and beer at the sign of the Pickled Pig
Pub owners are used to dealing with customers who are drunk as skunks, but the Prince of Wales in Derbyshire Lane, Sheffield, had to call time on its own particular drunken swine when the owner's pet pig fell over in an alcohol-induced stupor. Aided and abetted by some of the regulars, Piggy developed an 18-pint-a-day habit and ballooned to more than 60 stones. Owner Charlie Boldock has now banished Piggy to the beer garden - where he is no doubt longing for warmer days when the drinkers move outside.
Emergency! I haven't finished stuffing my face
When a fire broke out in a restaurant in Orlando, Florida, staff raised the alarm and ordered an immediate evacuation by the customers. The customers, however, had other ideas. One grabbed a plate and filled it from the buffet before leaving, another stole the tips bowl from the counter and one demanded to know when she would be allowed back in as she hadn't had dessert. Not surprisingly, most just disappeared to avoid paying.
Come back soon - and tell your great-grandchildren
Building up a following of repeat visitors is important to any hotelier, so George Goring, of the Goring hotel in London, was pleased last week when a previous customer booked a lunch there. Apparently, the elderly woman first visited the Goring in 1923 and continued to do so many times until 1935. For some reason her visits suddenly stopped, but after an absence of 66 years she returned last week to fulfil her wish of experiencing the hotel one last time.
Snow joke - your mortgage has been paid off
Peter Eyles, executive chairman of hotel group Hanover International, came back from a New Year skiing trip to Canada with an interesting story about Microsoft chairman Bill Gates. One of the ski professionals at Whistler came across Gates after his car had skidded off the road and towed him out with a 4×4. The following month our Good Samaritan's bank statement showed a mystery deposit of $25,000. When he queried it with the bank, the manager suggested he had "better come in". He did, and found Microsoft had not only made the deposit but had also paid off his mortgage. Perhaps the scariest thing is that the only information Gates had was our hero's car number.
Grounds for a spot of election prediction
With a General Election fast approaching, the Goodbean coffee shop chain is trying to predict its outcome by assessing party popularity from the way its customers drink the froth on their cappuccinos. It reckons New Labour voters will decide on their cup size and froth-drinking technique only after a focus-group poll of other customers, while Conservatives will order the largest cup and try sipping, stirring and scooping to catch the popular mood. It even suggests that those who intend not to vote will refuse to order a cappuccino by name and will ask for the froth to be put in the cup first, before the espresso coffee and milk. How thirst-quenching.
Homeless is not where the heart is
And finally, only 15 customers out of 10,000 donated their second meal to a centre for the homeless in a McDonald's "buy one, get one free" promotion, organised by a Derby franchise.
