Table talk
I bet the soup is sour and the gravy is grumpy
Busy lunchtime service can be stressful, but a waiter in one City establishment definitely needs a holiday. In response to a tentative enquiry after an hour as to when our main course was likely to arrive, the snappy chappy replied: "When I've served the 81 people in front of you." Charming.
That's what I call burning ambition
The owners of a Welsh pub have proved they have a sense of humour even in the face of extreme misfortune. Their eight-bedroom Black Ox has burnt down twice and is in the process of being rebuilt. When it re-opens it will have the new name, the Roasted Ox.
Cellular moans
A restaurant in Germany is ringing the changes for mobile phones. Many restaurants ban them because their constant ringing irritates other guests, but some restaurateurs claim they have lost custom from those who can't kick the habit. In a display of typical Teutonic pragmatism, the Harheimer Hof in Frankfurt has employed mobile phone-sitters. But there's still a chance that customers without mobiles will be put off their sauerkraut: "If the guest really desires the phone to be taken to the table to take a call, we do so," said manager Harald Siebenhofer. "At least that spares the other guests from hearing it ring." Not sure which is worse.
Wanted: a dirty dozen
Consortium Small Luxury Hotels of the World is looking for a dozen fussy couples to test standards at its UK hotels. During their stay, the consortium suggests the mystery guests leave their shoes outside the bedroom door to see what happens, ask the hotel pianist for "their tune" and judge the quality of the result, and claim to be a connoisseur of crème brûlée and upside-down puddings and ask for these as a special favour. The best, however, has to be the suggestion that they monitor the beds for length, comfort and enhancement of passionate experiences.
Oil's well that ends well
A café in Devon has closed its doors after almost 50 years of business. The Dartmoor Chef, better known as the Green Hut, served one last massive fry-up to 50 Royal Marines with a serious bout of the late-night munchies. They dropped in for the greasy-spoon breakfast at 2am during a night exercise.
You can leave your hat on
Times have certainly changed in the past century, as a flick through a 1904 edition of Caterer revealed the other day. The article in question listed the house rules of the Oklahoma hotel in Oklahoma, USA. The list included gems such as: "Gents goin' to bed with their boots on will be charged extra, three raps at the door means there is murder in the house, and if there's no towel handy, use a piece of the carpet." What a pleasant thought.
