Table Talk

Devilish bad lick he didn't get the damned job
The final selection for the general manager of the Hell Bay hotel on the Scilly Isles came down to two guys. The one who sadly didn't get the job was called Charles Lucifer. Shame! What could be neater than to have Mr Lucifer running things in Hell. The GM chosen for the only hotel on the unspoilt island of Bryher goes by the distinctly unsatanic name of Philip Callan.

Relax, and rediscover that old bedroom magic
Hotel Termes Montbrio, in Tarragona, Spain, has introduced a programme that allows couples to get away from it all and relax, while at the same time making improvements to their relationships. The "wise sex" programme starts with a welcome reception and dinner. Saturday morning involves a Reiki therapy session with aromatherapy, or an all-body 45-minute massage. In the afternoon the happy couple seminar takes place. This broaches issues such as sexuality, the stable couple, and "the golden rule of sexuality". The weekend concludes with personalised relationship advice.

Sol Campbell in Bhutan tapping-up shock riddle
News reaches us from Uma Paro hotel, the first luxury retreat in the central Asian kingdom of Bhutan, just opened by Christina Ong. A guest arrived who very modestly let on that he liked a game of football. Would he like to play for the hotel team against the other smart hotel over the valley? Little did they know that the guest in question was Arsenal and England defender Sol Campbell. So the chances of Uma Paro beating Amankora are looking decidedly good.

Waves can be hazardous on that stretch of the river
Guests at the recently opened Hotel du Vin in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, have been asked not to wave to rowers on the river. The veranda bathrooms overlook the Thames and there is concern that rowers in the Royal Regatta might get confused by overenthusiastic guests exposing themselves.