Table Talk
Tea with our madge is voted top of the pots
To mark the launch of afternoon teas in its restaurants, Brewers Fayre surveyed 1,000 customers, asking them who they would most like to share a cream tea with.
Surprisingly, Madonna was top of the list, winning 52% of men's votes to be named the woman most men would like to butter their scone, confirming her rising status as a British institution. In second place, with 36%, was the Queen, but with the provisos that high tea was taken at "her place" and was not served by Paul Burrell.
Other responses were more predictable, with Cameron Diaz, Halle Berry and Julia Roberts scoring highly. Women demanded more than a pretty face, with Michael Palin coming out tops, followed by Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton.
If there's no crust, what do you feed to the ducks? A crust-free loaf created to tempt fussy children has gone on the market. Called Invisible Crust, it took two years to develop, using a "world first" baking technique, according to Hovis.
Its launch follows research for the company which showed that two-thirds of children don't like crusts. This means 35% of mothers cut the crusts off their children's sandwiches, wasting up to 45% of the loaf. The research also showed crusts were the items most likely to be left in children's lunch boxes.
The new soft-edged loaf is baked at lower temperatures to stop its outside edges from hardening. It was developed under the code-name Project Curly, a reference to the myth that eating crusts makes hair curl.
What key is this in, man? Oh, yeah - a flat chicken Electronic jazz composer Matthew Herbert has used his latest album, Plat du Jour, to attack aspects of the food industry. Samples on the album include the sound of a free-range chicken being killed, and a tank driving over a recreation of the meal Nigella Lawson cooked for Bush and Blair.
But the show is stolen by percussion restricted to banging on egg packaging, empty water bottles, tins and cartons, and a cake box endorsed by the boy band Blue.
The album contains some extraordinary sounds - not least the noise of 2,250 people chomping on apples on the track An Apple a Day - but it's not likely to stand up to repeated listening.
