Table talk
Tony's touchdown in Paris Texas
Proving that stardom has not gone to his head, rugby celebrity Tony Underwood joined the rank and file recently when he dropped in at Paris Texas, a cheap and cheerful Italian eatery in Newcastle's city centre. A bold move, considering his appearance in Pizza Hut TV ads.
Guests - my table, anyway - held their breath as he paused to order. But Mr Underwood is no traitor; he shunned the rival's pizza and went for burger and chips instead.
Great performance, Tony. Pizza Hut would be proud.
Mumm gives star party off the m56
In recognition of the increasing number of Michelin-starred establishments north of Watford, Mumm Champagne is staging its annual celebratory dinner for star-winners next week at the Chester Grosvenor.
Organisers say most Michelin-starred southern-based chefs are crossing the north/south divide to attend. But I understand several of them are having a few problems with their geography of the North.
One chef said he couldn't find the Chester Grosvenor in his London hotel guide, and another asked if Chester was near Birmingham.
Let's hope all the chefs who are heading north arrive in Chester. A quick tip: turn left on to the M56.
A regulated way of getting thrown out
Following calls from national and local government - and probably a few black-eyed Saturday night revellers - the occupation of "bouncer" is heading for regulation.
The National Association of Door Supervisors, backed by union the GMB, was launched last week in the bouncers' capital of Essex. Its mission is to add a mark of credibility to the security industry through training.
The big question is: which brave soul manned the doors for this particular event?
Waistline inspection reveals a surprise
Jane Wyatt, the AA inspector who made her television debut this week on Channel 4's An Inspector Calls, does not shirk in the line of duty.
The valiant Ms Wyatt, who is obliged to eat a full English breakfast, lunch and dinner when on the job, revealed that she had gained four stones in the course of her work.
I would like to thank Ms Wyatt for allowing all other big eaters in this industry to feel slightly less guilty about their own indulgence.
A knotty problem with citrus leaves
As Thai cooking is so popular, it has come as a shock to many restaurants that an EU directive has banned imports of citrus leaves into Europe.
Some suppliers, however, including George Allens of Covent Garden Market, are working hard to keep their customers happy. The imaginative team at the firm claims to have "dispatched dear old George to Bangkok, with instructions to swallow as many knotted condoms stuffed with lime leaves as possible, and catch the next plane home".
50th birthday treat with a difference
Few people would celebrate their 50th birthday cycling from Land's End to John O'Groats, but Max Woolfenden, managing director of Wimpy, has chosen to do just that.
I suppose cycling 1,000 miles is one way of getting away from the mad cow disease fiasco, and it's all in a good cause: "Mad Max" will donate the money raised to the NSPCC.
Sponsorship forms are available from Lynne Johnson, Wimpy International,2 The Listons, Liston Road, Marlow, Buckinghamshire SL7 1FD (tel: 01628 891655).
