Table talk

1. Prue's no prude Prue Leith is poised to spice up our lives with a racy novel about the restaurant world. Leaving Patrick should be in the shops this summer, complete with some erotic prose that Prue admits she thoroughly enjoyed writing. "After I'd done the first bonking chapter, I was very pleased with it, but then someone pointed out that everybody likes their own writing about sex because it's based on what they like themselves," she confided. Autobiographical then?

1. Bah humbug to Beefeater The season of goodwill doesn't hold much for managers at roadside restaurant chain Beefeater. Coinciding with the appointment of new managing director John Derkach, Beefeater has decreed that restaurant managers will not receive their customary Christmas gift from head office this year. When asked to confirm this, a spokeswoman reluctantly admitted: "Yes, kind of." Scrooge would have been proud.

1. A stain on the Queen's reputation Terry Holmes, executive director at the Stafford hotel in London, was poised to launch a spirited defence of the Royal Family during a recent visit to Washington DC. One American woman, however, was horrified at his sympathies. Until, that is, it dawned on her that when Holmes said he was a monarchist, he didn't mean he supported Monica Lewinsky.

1. Preparing for the slump (in appetites) Worried about worldwide recession? Not the Small Luxury Hotels of the World, according to a survey of the consortium's members. In fact, they seem more worried about the size of their customers' waistlines. "Guests in luxury hotels are tending to become thinner and more faddy about food, which is another worry because they eat, and therefore spend, less - but also want more unusual dishes and at less traditional times," says a spokeswoman. Crisis? What crisis?

1. In awe of Sunlaws The Brown-Noser of the Week award goes to novelist Barbara Taylor-Bradford, who went into overdrive describing the Duke and Duchess of Roxburghe's hotel. In her latest novel, Love In Another Town, Sunlaws House in Kelso, Scotland, is described as "handsomely furnished, full of mellow antiques and fine paintings imbued with comfort and welcoming warmth an environment she strove hard to create in her own decorating schemes for her clients." Pass the bucket.

1. Down the tubes First, FC Barcelona objected to the name of Manchester café-bar Barça, fearing footie fans might get confused. Now a pub has incurred the wrath of London Underground, which is claiming copyright infringement over its name, the Underground Bar. "It's just crazy," said owner Kenny Nicoll. "We didn't take any commuters from them." I should think not - the bar is in Dundee.

1. Choppers queue up for Whoppers News reaches me that Burger King's latest opening, the helicopter "fly-thru" restaurant at London Gateway Motorway Services on the M1, has been a little more successful than anticipated. According to a company source, more than 25 choppers have already applied for permission to land at the site (which is actually the car park). Apparently, the service station's managers were assured that no more than two or three helicopters a year would be interested - and they're now having problems trying to fit them all in.