Table talk
Dread to think what he'd do with the stuffing
The Governor of Bangkok is ditching his other job as a TV celebrity chef after claims that he is more interested in cooking than governing. Samak Sunthonraweth described the traditions of Thai food and cooked his favourite dishes on the programme Chim Pai, Bon Pai, which means "tasting and complaining". But now complaints from the public that he is overstretching himself have forced him to quit. Commenting on a story alleging that all the customers had to leave a busy noodle shop when he arrived so he could eat alone, the governor said: "This is untrue and I would like to slap the reporters in the mouth with a noodle bowl. If I find the person who started this story I will push a pineapple in his mouth."
Fancy a spot of twitching, dear?
Couples who are bored with sex, whose working lives allow them little time together, or who simply prefer their own company can now enjoy hobbies and pastimes in the privacy of their bedroom as part of a short break at Mere Court country house hotel near Knutsford, Cheshire. The list of 101 ideas for things to do in the bedroom apart from lovemaking, include singing to each other, ghost hunting using a Ouija board, learning ventriloquism, nature-watching using binoculars and aerobic workouts.
Actually, it sounds like an improvement
A special Christmas break is on offer to festive killjoys at Dunsley Hall country house hotel in Whitby, North Yorkshire. Miserablists will drink a toast to Ebenezer Scrooge, eat sandwiches in their room rather than a turkey lunch, and light a ritual bonfire of decorations and giftwrap. They will be charged an un-Scrooge-like £375 for the privilege, but that includes a symbolic unwanted gift - socks, bath salts, handkerchiefs, a garish tie or cheap perfume - just to ensure that they leave feeling more fed up than when they arrived.
Didn't that Tito get a parking ticket once?
An Italian wine grower whose bottles of Hitler wine caused outrage has added a Tito label to his dictator vintages. Alessandro Lunardelli from Pasian di Prato in northern Italy started selling the wines with the faces of dictators, including Stalin, Hitler and Mussolini, on the labels six years ago. He has made £1.5m, mainly from German and Austrian tourists. He is now offering Tito wine, after the former Yugoslav president, to the nouveau riche from Slovenia and Croatia. An attempt to invade Britain with the Hitler wine was foiled by British customs. Lunardelli's business began with a red wine called Mussolini, which was a big hit in Italy but took him into court as well as the news. He escaped fines and prison because the magistrates were not convinced that he was promoting Fascism. Lunardelli rejects any such allegations, and says he also offers bottles with pictures of Marx, Lenin and Che Guevara. "It's stange that Stalin murdered 15 million people but there is no fuss about the bottle, and for the labels with Hitler and Mussolini, I end up in court," he said.
