The host of Christmas present
Who ate all the pies?
Tis the season to be greedy, and guests visiting the 128-bedroom Macdonald Last Drop Village hotel in Bolton, Greater Manchester, certainly won't be leaving hungry if executive chef Bill Prout's pantry is anything to go by.
The guests this Christmas at the hotel, which is a collection of rural buildings set in landscaped gardens, will munch their way through 14,000 Christmas puddings, 4,136kg of turkey, 3,579kg of potatoes and 2,685kg of sprouts. What's more, they will stuff down 18,000 mince pies, 1,590kg of Aberdeen Angus beef, 809kg of Scotch salmon, 387kg of bacon and 1,585 litres of cream.
And if that's not enough to satisfy the hardiest of revellers, there will be 4,000 bottles of wine and 45,000 gallons of lager to wash it all down.
I suppose one more "waffer-thin" mint's too much to ask for?
Hooray for Hollywood
For companies wanting to add glamour and glitz to their Christmas party, the four-star Le Méridien York hotel is offering a Hollywood-themed night staged in its purpose-built event centre.
Guests will be made to feel they are arriving for a night at the Oscars, greeted by an authentic silver-and-blue colour scheme that re-creates the atmosphere of Hollywood's big night. The detail extends right down to matching seat covers, large bows on the chairs, table-top candelabras and clapperboards as menus.
While life-size Oscars stare down from the stage, black-and-white movies will run in the background replaying some of cinema's greatest moments. So authentic is this tried-and-tested shindig that guests have been known to show up in limos.
From Rome with love
Rocco Forte's Hotel de Russie is offering Christmas Russian-style in Rome this year. Both the hotel's name and the Christmas theme are in keeping with its historic relationship with European aristocracy, who favoured the venue while visiting the Russian ballet in the city. Former guests include Pablo Picasso and choreographer Sergei Diaghilev.
To keep up with the Russian aristocratic lifestyle over the festive period, guests are advised to relax in the de Russie Spa hydrotherapy pool, Turkish bath and sauna before taking a leisurely three-hour stroll around Rome with a private guide. Evenings are to be spent sipping cocktails or Champagne and nibbling on caviar - if you're really keen on the Russian theme - in the Stravinskij Bar.
And what could be more civilised than to end the evening with a sumptuous dinner at Le Jardin du Russie restaurant? After-dinner vodka shots and Cossack dancing are optional.
Carnegie Christmas
Staff at the Carnegie Club at Skibo Castle in Dornoch, Sutherland, could be forgiven for thinking that their days of taking part in nativity plays for the amusement of the adults were long gone. But guests this Christmas are to be treated to Oscar-winning performances by the Carnegie troupe, who have put together a nativity play, panto-style - the Wise Men are behind you! - to be performed in the entrance hall.
Meanwhile, the hotel's longest-serving staff member, Angus McLaren, will dress up as Santa Claus and run around outside with a spotlight on his head for the general amusement and excitement of the children. Adults can entertain themselves with whisky tasting or "beating the boundaries", a half-day ramble across the moors sustained by shortbread and more whisky. Anyone who doesn't fancy recovering from Christmas lunch in front of the TV can go on the hotel's "mock hunt" - an energetic ride, not involving foxes - fuelled by more whisky.
Magical night
Guests at the Ramada Hotel & Resort Maidstone in Kent should be prepared to be amazed and confounded by an array of magicians.
The Ramada group takes the business of entertaining most seriously and has been planning events for the festive season since March.
At the Maidstone hotel, Rick's bar and grill is offering a number of special main courses and desserts, and the magicians will entertain between courses before the cabaret - and the inevitable disco - kicks off.
Men only
We are forever being told that it's about time men got in touch with their feminine side, and Careys Manor in Brockenhurst, Hampshire, is encouraging them to do just this. The luxury hotel and spa is offering men an alternative to those annoying novelty socks this Christmas and is hoping to fill its Carat Club health complex with men taking up a number of male-orientated treatments specially introduced for the festive season.
A bewildering range of "Just for men" skin-care treatments are on offer, and there's a "Relax for men" pamper day at £88, which buys access to the fitness room, swimming pool, spa bath and steam room, with lunch at French bistro Blaireau's.
Dogs' day out
Glenmorangie House at Tain in Ross-shire is offering husky rides this Christmas. This is no leisurely stroll with a few fluffy dogs, however; these are racing huskies, and - given the probable absence of snow - guests will be riding in a sled-on-wheels at about 30mph in close proximity to the ground.
Those who feel they need a bit of Dutch courage before taking off with the dogs are in the right place: a wee dram is always on offer at Glenmorangie House, which is run by the same 16 Men of Tain who make the famous whisky.
So far, husky rides at the hotel have proved extremely popular with both guests and dogs. "Offering guests sled rides is a good way of exercising the dogs," says general manager Helen McKenzie-Smith.
Praise be
Things will be getting happy and clappy at the Castle hotel in Windsor, Berkshire, this Christmas. The hotel is hosting a black-tie evening which will begin with a glass of Champagne followed by a three-course dinner. But there will be no sombre renditions of Silent Night at this event. The after-dinner entertainment will be the London Community Gospel Choir, the highly esteemed and longest-established group of gospel singers in the UK. The choir, which has managed to squeeze the event in between gigs at London's Royal Albert Hall and the Jazz Café, is guaranteed to get even the weariest of party-goers clapping their hands.
