The things they leave behind
The response to our latest Caterer-online survey has been overwhelming, with more than three thousand of you writing in with torrid tales of dodgy customers, trashed rooms and filched sundries. And the staff are no angels, either.
When it comes to running off with "souvenirs" from visits to hotels, bars and restaurants, it seems nothing is off the menu. A disturbing amount of you described guests who were so thorough (or should that be tight?) that they swiped lightbulbs, toilet rolls and even the batteries from the TV remote control. One long-suffering respondent found her "staff sanity" missing - time for a career change, perhaps?
Among the more bizarre items purloined by light-fingered guests were carpets, cigarette machines, plasma screen TVs, condom machines, even a drinks vending machine. The roll call of snaffled animals included a chimpanzee, a llama and two donkeys. And one particularly cheeky guest even made off with a respondent's virginity. Tsk.
But often it's not so much a question of what guests take with them as what they leave behind. If messiness were an Olympic event, we'd be looking at gold medals for the British. And we're not talking just biscuit crumbs in the bed or newspapers on the floor.
Most of the 388 respondents to the "What is the worst thing a guest has left you to clean up?" question had horrific tales of rooms splattered and daubed with excreta and the fetid fallout from fecund love-ins. Suicides, bondage sessions, debauched drinking sessions, projectile bowel movements, a slaughtered lamb in a bath - you name it, our readers have seen it, coped with it and left the room spotless.
The number of blow-up dolls and "bedroom toys" left behind by guests could fill several museums, but perhaps more disturbing is the number of abandoned prosthetic limbs. One guest was apparently so rejuvenated by her hotel stay that she left her Zimmer frame. And shame on the unscrupulous gent who left behind a prostitute without paying her.
On the creative side, one wag left a 10ft ice sculpture in his room, and another superglued all the crockery to the wall. Meanwhile, the trend of heating up curry in a kettle gathers apace. Is hotel food really that bad? Chefs, take note.
But it's not just the guests who are dodgy. Some 34 of you admitted borrowing or using a guest's belongings. One respondent rolled a spliff from a guest's bedside stash, as they knew the guest wouldn't complain. And as for the two of you who admitted borrowing guests' vibrators: repent now before it's too late.
Which items are most commonly stolen by hotel guests?
Responses to this question: 899
Stolen itemsResponsesPercentage of total respondents
Towels 625 70%
Bathrobes 359 40%
Ashtrays 321 36%
Light bulbs 29 3%
Light fittings 21 2%
Remote controls 211 23%
TVs 16 2%
Toilet paper 221 13%
Other 150 17%
Which nationality, in your opinion, tends to leave the messiest rooms?
Responses to this question: 813
Nationality Responses Percentage of total respondents
British 221 27%
American 218 27%
Australian 20 2%
French 62 8%
German 60 8%
Italian 61 8%
Dutch 13 2%
Other 158 19%
Have you ever borrowed or used items from a guest's luggage?
Responses to this question: 746
Responses Percentage of total respondents
Yes 34 4%
No 712 96%
Strange items left behind
Family members: 21
- including two husbands (one drunk, and the other whose ashes were left by his wife); seven wives (one of whom was left tied to the bed); three babies; and six children
Prosthetic limbs (arms, legs and hands): 14
Guns: 5
Voodoo doll with a picture of Tony Blair on it: 1
Stuffed frog: 1
Ruud Van Nistelroy's trainers: 1
… and £25,000 in cash (never claimed)
