table talk

Concern for bottom line rules out line of bottoms

An enterprising hotel in Weston-super-Mare has shelved plans to fill its spare bedrooms with weekend sex parties for swingers. The 35-bedroom Baymead hotel had advertised its sexsational Friday and Saturday night deals via specialist wife-swapping magazines but has since rethought its plans. "I tried the water but decided not to continue with it - that's the bottom line," said the hotel's owner, Rod Dodson, who declined to comment further.

Balti restaurant tests explosive power of sprouts

An Indian restaurant is offering customers sprout pakoras, mince pie naan breads and tikka turkeys in a bid to boost Christmas business. Kushi in Birmingham's "Balti Triangle" has also put sprout, leek and broccoli saffron masala on its menu to entice people who are bored with traditional fare. Chef Mohammed Haydor is thought to be the first curry chef to come up with such recipes.

Question of revenge befuddles brain of Briton

In its latest newsletter, food service consultancy Tricon has gathered together some food-related quiz show no-brainers. Our favourite comes from The Weakest Link. When Anne Robinson asked: "According to the common saying, ‘Revenge is a dish best served… ‘ What?" the contestant replied: "On toast." Others include: "What is the Italian word for motorway?" "Espresso," and "What major town on the River Severn, famed for its fine china, shares its name with the sauce used in a Bloody Mary?" "Tomato."

Some drink to stay sober, some drink to forget…

Scientists reckon they've discovered what makes us drunk - and can stop it. Apparently beer goggles, falling on your arse and distorted perceptions of your own sex appeal are all down to a gene called slo-1, which releases a protein that, combined with alcohol, makes you act like a tit. This process can, the boffins believe, be stopped, meaning that you could drink as much as you like without getting drunk (but still destroy your liver, presumably). Of course, this might help to treat alcoholics - but for the rest of us, we don't really see the appeal.

Heinz hounds hunt down the ketchup cheats

Café owners across the UK are facing a swoop from a new breed of police. The Heinz ketchup cops, accompanied by a bloodhound trained to sniff out phoney sauce, are clamping down on devious caterers who fill its famous bottles with cheaper brands. In the USA Heinz has introduced a new type of un-refillable bottle for use in restaurants and caf‚s, but doesn't plan to introduce the new bottle here. Heinz hopes a visit from the ketchup police will be enough to make offenders mend their ways.

Missed opportunity by Gwyneth and Chris

Yorkshire is the new exotic location for weddings, according to a poll by the Monkbar hotel in York. At its recent wedding fair, 85% of brides-to-be said they would prefer to get married in Yorkshire rather than Mauritius or Las Vegas. When asked which celebrity couples they would model their marriage on, 50% believed that Brad and Jen had the strongest marriage. Posh and Becks followed with 35% of the vote, while only 15% favoured Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. Most brides marrying in Yorkshire will pay up to £10,000 for their wedding.