Table Talk

Hail, fellow, well met - not An Irish hotelier has threatened to sue the country's meteorological office after it wrongly forecast blizzard-like conditions last weekend. Sean McEniff said reservations at his hotels, the Allingham Arms hotel in Bundoran, and the Mount Errigal in Letterkenny, were cancelled as a result. He claimed that, with all its sophisticated modern equipment, the Met Office should not have been so wrong.
But forecaster Michael Walsh defended his position, saying there were strong winds of up to 125kph and snow showers - as predicted. "They did not hit every place - I have no issue with that," he said. "But there is this expectation that forecasts can be precise, and distinguish between Bundoran and Letterkenny and the different hotels that Mr McEniff owns. That simply cannot be done, really."
Walsh invited McEniff to a tour of the Met Office and to point out the problems in forecasting.

That pie is not on the menu Notorious pornographer Larry Flynt (or "adult entertainment mogul", as the press release calls him) is planning to open a chain of restaurants, called Hustler Bar & Grille. According to the publicity, the restaurants will feature "Hustler and Larry Flynt memorabilia, sports on TVs and a menu offering more than 100 menu selections".
The putative restaurant chain supposedly even has its own website, although we suspect it's all just a publicity stunt to get people to visit Flynt's internet ventures. Just don't ask how we came across it in the first place.

It was all a load of balls Organisers of the world testicle-cooking championships were left out of pocket after a contestant claiming to be Australia's top testicle cook turned out to be a hoaxer, it has emerged.
A man claiming to be Australian chef Nigel Bevan rang the World Testicle Cooking Championship in Serbia, asking to take part. Organiser Gornji Milanovac said he imported kangaroo testicles especially for the Australian team - but nobody turned up.
He said: "The caller told us cooked kangaroo testicles were a popular delicacy in Australia, and gave us the details of where we could get kangaroo testicles from - so we could have them ready when Mr Bevan and his team arrived. We were disappointed when no Australians arrived - we even had a band ready to welcome them."