Table talk
And their specialist subject is…
After an appeal for mystery guests to test the quality of his hotel services, Peter Chubb, manager of Hellaby Hall hotel, Rother- ham, South Yorkshire, has been overwhelmed with applicants.
He now proposes a "Mastermind Final" to test the knowledge and expertise of the contenders. Candidates will exercise their skills at a blindfold wine-tasting, have to name the ingredients in the hotel's canapé selection, as well as spot deliberate mistakes in serviced bedrooms.
That black chair has never sounded so inviting.
When smoke gets in your eyes
When, I wonder, will restaurateurs finally twig that most diners want to eat in a smoke-free environment? And why do restaurant staff usually usher non-smokers to the back of the restaurant, near the toilets and the kitchen?
A recent example at a pizza restaurant I visited in Wembley, north London, says it all. More than half the restaurant had been earmarked for smokers, yet by 1pm there were just two tables occupied in this section, while the non-smoking area was crammed full.
Within 30 minutes, four separate groups of potential customers had turned on their heels when they realised that they could not eat without inhaling nicotine.
Something had obviously clouded the vision of that manager.
Charity begins somewhere else
I have sympathy for the hoteliers of Christchurch, Dorset, whose errant tourist office is wont to advertise their rivals' accommodation.
The town's hoteliers are furious that Christchurch's Where to Stay guide includes hotels in nearby Bournemouth, when their own hotel and guest houses are often not full.
Taking to heart the slogan "Charity begins at home", the hoteliers have managed to persuade the tourist association that it should offer rivals small line entries only.
I hope this diplomatic manoeuvring settles the matter, as nobody would like to see bully-boys Weymouth and Swanage joining in.
You can't beat a genuine welcome
Employing a meeter-and-greeter ensures a welcome for the customer, but it is difficult to assess the return on investment of employing someone to perform this duty.
The Ashiana tandoori restaurant near Preston, Lancashire, believes it has found the ideal solution. It has placed a life-size model inside the doorway, resplendent with sari and welcoming smile.
I can just image the range of late Friday night remarks you could capture with a secret microphone fitted to the fibre-glass female.
Taking a lead from French dog-lovers
ONE of the dominant themes of France's leading catering exhibition, Equip'Hotel at the end of October, was hygiene.
There were seminars, special stands, posters and events proclaiming its importance to the French catering industry.
Laudable though all this is, a UK visitor to the Equip'Hotel show was puzzled as to why dogs were made welcome to tour the stands with their culinary owners.
Slimmers have cause for celebration
It seems too good to be true, but I'll accept the word of staff at the Yellow Broom Country House Restaurant, near Holmes Chapel, Cheshire, that they have uncovered a Champagne for slimmers.
Payelle Père Vieille Réserve Brut, cuvée Jean Denis, is produced without any added sugar, says the hotel.
