Table Talk
The thoroughly unmodern Gordon Ramsay
Gordon Ramsay didn't endear himself to feminists with his choice of pet hates to be condemned to the oblivion of Room 101 when he appeared on the BBC programme last week.
While having a go at London cabbies, he got carried away and complained that women drivers should be allowed on the road only on Sundays, as they slow everyone else down. And he admitted that he has never changed a nappy in his life, despite having four young children.
He said he was prepared to gut a pigeon but facing a soiled nappy made him feel sick. Host Paul Merton replied: "I don't imagine your wife enjoys it much either."
Woz's insurance idea is finger-lickin' good
Antony Worrall Thompson is insuring parts of his body for a total of £1m. The Ready Steady Cook regular has valued his tongue at £500,000 and his fingers at another £500,000.
"I can hobble around on wooden legs, but I can't do very much in my job without my fingers," he said. "Years ago, I insured my fingers for £50,000, but I need to increase the cost as my salary has gone up."
On plans to insure his tongue, he said: "You can get mouth cancer, for instance, which would completely destroy my career. Although it would stop me talking, it would also stop me tasting, as well. Models insure their legs, so why not chefs?"
Portobello's celebrations hit a sour note
Forget the ho-ho-ho. At London's Portobello hotel, the fashionable hangout for music and film buffs, it'll be a miserable-old-git Christmas this year.
There will be no Christmas tree, no plum pudding, no Father Christmas and no obvious festive spirit. Instead, guests will receive a CD featuring songs by stars who have stayed there. Robbie Williams, Sting, David Bowie and Mick Jagger are in the line-up.
Bah, humbug.
And when you get hiccups, it comes out your nose…
A soft drink flavoured with turkey and gravy, and described as "gross and undrinkable" by its maker, was a surprise hit during the US Thanksgiving holiday last week.
Seattle-based Jones Soda sold out of an initial run of 6,000 bottles of the drink within hours. Now, 99 cent bottles are changing hands for more than $70 on auction website eBay.
"The liquid's ominous, murky brown colour accurately warns consumers about the taste sensation," the San Francisco Chronicle reported. "With the first sip, hints of sweet caramel and savoury lard hit the palate, usually followed by facial expressions of confusion, disgust and anger."
Don't pull me anything but a pint - or my teeth
UK workers are more interested in getting tanked up than "pulling a cracker" at the Christmas office party, according to a survey commissioned by hotel group Ramada Jarvis.
Only 2% of the 1,506 respondents in the survey, conducted by YouGov, said that they expected to have a fling with a colleague at the office party this year, while 40% expected to drink too much.
And the biggest party poopers appear to be the over-50s, 30% of whom said the office Christmas party was less enjoyable than a trip to the dentist.
